Pickles
by westlight
Summary: House and his pickles, Huddy and a bit of Wilson peeking in. Please Read and Review, thanks much!


Idea struck me when I finished doing my History paper. Interesting time, I must say.

Please continue reading! And of course, I'm sure you know what to do at the end. (:

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Lunchtime as usual, hospital lunches as usual. House walked down the corridor into the dining hall, and bumped into Cuddy.

'Hello, House.'

'Hello, Cuddy. Didn't see you there. Too much on my mind.'

'Really. Or was it because you haven't noticed how slim I was until now?'

'Slim. What's with the sudden ego?' House eyed her suspiciously. 'Answer me seriously. Are you pregnant?'

'Look, can you stop asking me that? House, I am not pregnant!'

'Well, the last time I asked you that was a week ago! I never know what might have happened within that time span.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. 'Don't just sit there, come and get your food if you want it!'

'Could you help me get my food? No pickles.'

'Why don't you just come and get it yourself. House, stop being such a lazy ass.'

'Couldn't you just be nice and help a crip get his food? Now, stop behaving as though you're in your first trimester.'

Cuddy stood firm.

'Please? Thank you. Now, remember, no pickles.' He smiled his half-smile which he knew would irritate her. Again, she rolled her eyes, as he had expected.

'Don't roll your eyes at me! They might just get stuck in your head one day.'

'Relax, they won't. I've been rolling my eyes for years now, and nothing has happened to me. What are you doing?'

'Staring at your eyes. They seem to have moved a millimeter from when I first saw you years ago. Could you please just get the food? I'm hungry. Thank you.'

House passed Cuddy a fleeting glance and looked away, thinking of his current case as he continued staring at the weird-looking plant outside. It was raining, dampening his spirits even more. He hated it when he had to think on a hungry stomach, plus if it was raining. Cuddy was ordering the food already. Good. He didn't want to wait.

'Hi. I'm back,' Cuddy announced.

'Mm.'

'Can you at least show some response?'

'I did! I said mm! And don't roll your eyes! What did you get me?'

'A sandwich. Lots of lettuce, onions and mayo.'

House looked at Cuddy, his sandwich, and back at Cuddy again. 'Are you sure it only contains those? Excluding the meat, of course.'

'Why don't you just EAT your food?'

Now, he lifted up his sandwich and stared at it from the side, and took a tentative bite. 'I don't trust you buying food for me, see. It's not good to stare at people, so stop staring at me as though I've got a cockroach climbing up my face!'

Cuddy looked back down at her own sandwich and ate it. 'Mmm. Delicious. You should try yours.'

'Ugh! Pickles!'

'What?'

'There's pickles in it! I told you no pickles!'

'Oh. Whoops, I forgot. Well that's too bad, then. You have to learn to not be picky.'

'But I told you no pickles! Now what am I supposed to eat?'

'Your sandwich. With pickles.'

'You know, Cuddy, before this, I was actually going to offer to pay for this meal.'

'That's big of you, House.'

'Thank you. Point is, I was going to ask you out for drinks.'

Cuddy raised an eyebrow.

'For drinks, nothing else.'

'Did I just miss out on something?' House turned to face the new, possibly unwelcome visitor. It was Wilson.

'What?' he asked defensively.

'You didn't miss out on anything.'

'Uh-uh. I heard the word drinks.'

'Well, you could have heard the word pink…'

'…And something about asking someone out…'

'Look, Wilson, do you see that plant over there?' House pointed to the weird-looking plant he had been staring at before he started eating.

Wilson turned. 'Yea.'

'Why don't you go accompany it? It looks kinda lonely outside. Plus it needs something to protect it from the rain and the wind and the elements, blah blah blah, you know.'

'If you wanted me to leave, you could have just told me.'

'Very good, then. Thank you for your presence, you can leave now.' He turned back to Cuddy. 'Okay, so what? Do you want drinks, or…'

'Drinks are fine.'

'Great. Where?'

'I'd like a coke.'

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(In case you haven't gotten it, I actually meant for you to review. :D)


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